Comings & Goings

It's late and we're bushed, so we'll touch on the recent highlights. The Kurt and Kara Lyman family are in town for a couple of weeks, and we were glad to have them over for dinner today. Sammy & Riley both adore Haylie, and she seems to like them OK, too. Maybe it's not my place to comment, but Kurt and Kara are both doing Weight Watchers and they're looking good. I've been trying to exercise and eat better the last few weeks (doing better at exercising than avoiding junk food, truth be told) and have shed a few pounds, too.

We got up early today because we had to be at church by 7:30 for choir practice, since today was ward conference. Sammy & Riley were both grumpy about being up so early, and I won't claim there weren't some difficult moments getting them ready, but we made it. Riley was still in pajamas when we left and Sammy was crying but when we got to church they both calmed down pretty fast. It was ward conference today and the choir sang several numbers, all of which went well and added to the spirit of the meeting. Then of course we had choir practice after church, in preparation for Easter Sunday next week.

Yesterday we got a babysitter and went to Park City with Dan & Deanne, where we (what else?) shopped at the outlet mall. We all found some things we liked and had a good time without kids, except for Zeke and Tate, but they weren't any trouble. I'm sure our other boys had more fun at home than they would have had if they'd come, too.

This coming week Christy and the boys will accompany me on a trip through eastern and southern Utah on Wednesday, and then on to Grand Junction on Thursday. That evening we'll head over to the Kent and Kathryn Palmer house, which we're all looking forward to. Rumor has it the Easter bunny will be visiting their place Saturday morning. We'll drive back Saturday afternoon.

So that's our life for now. Until next time...

Happy birthday to me!

Vacation.

I’ve come to a new understanding of this word over the past two days. When I was younger, the annual family “vacation” to visit relatives in Utah or Washington was not really a vacation to me. Especially not the hours in a car with my bothersome brothers (they probably felt the same about me). After Bruce and I got married, we couldn’t afford a real “vacation” to Hawaii, or even the Pacific Coast. And with kids, even when we do something fun like camping, it is far from a vacation for me.

So in January when Bruce sent me an e-mail with an invite from the federal employees in Casper inviting him to a meeting on March 11, my birthday, he jokingly asked if I’d like a vacation to Casper for my birthday. I laughed out loud when I read it, but then I reconsidered and surprised Bruce with my answer: “Actually, yes.”

So here I am, spending my birthday afternoon riding into the sunset across the brown Wyoming plains, having the time of my life. Or at least, the time of my past few months. This trip has fulfilled my expectations and has been a true vacation.

We left Sammy and Riley with friends in Layton, and drove to Casper yesterday. Zeke has been great in the car, crying only when he’s hungry and smiling and sleeping the rest of the time. We got to Casper for a late dinner at a local steakhouse, where the food was even tastier than we expected (sweet potato pie!). The hotel was clean; we lounged in our room and watched movies until we were tired. Free hotel breakfasts are amazing compared to 20 years ago—waffle bars, (fake) scrambled eggs, yogurt, granola. Then I let Zeke nap, packed, read the paper, and had my own nap while Bruce went to his meeting. We had a good lunch in cute downtown Casper, Bruce dropped off one last award at the (tiny) airport, and we headed out. We even stopped for a tour of the Martin’s Cove visitors center, but it was too cold and windy to make the two-mile hike out to the cove itself.

In short, a great vacation. I feel refreshed and rested, and it’s been short enough that I don’t miss Sammy and Riley too much. Who knew I’d have so much fun on Bruce’s CFC road trips? And while it wasn’t as much of a vacation for Bruce, he’s had more fun because I’m here. How often do we get 6 uninterrupted hours to talk to each other?

If only next week’s trip to southern Utah and Colorado promised to be so restful. But Sammy and Riley demand a little more attention than Zeke. Oh well, today was for me (great birthday present), and we’ll have a great time next week too, as long as the hotel has a swimming pool for the boys!

Of birthdays and bathrooms

This will be a short one. On Friday, Christy called me at work and said, "Listen to this!" I then heard her making some tickling noises, which were followed by the sounds of Zeke grunting and laughing. It is so magical the first time a baby laughs -- I could listen to it over and over without growing tired of it.

We survived another Sunday. Lately the sacrament meeting routine is that shortly after the sacrament, Christy and Zeke head to the mother's lounge and I end up escorting one or both of the boys to the bathroom. Our boys are not efficient bathroom goers, and I end up missing the majority of the meeting. So does Christy, of course, but she does have the benefit of a quiet room and the sound being piped in.

Tomorrow we're driving to Casper for one of my Eagle delivery trips. We'll stay overnight, and I'll meet with some people and make some deliveries before we turn around and drive back Tuesday afternoon, which is Christy's birthday. We're taking Zeke, but Sammy and Riley will be staying with some friends. Normalliy I wouldn't have scheduled this on her birthday but the Casper agencies had a once-a-month Federal Executive Committee meeting they wanted me to attend, in order to present the top awards and talk to them about CFC. I still would have passed, but when I told Christy about it she said she wanted to come. So we'll celebrate her 29th birthday with an excursion to exotic Casper, Wyoming. We'll celebrate her birthday for real on Thursday, when she plans to make the chocolate wasabi cake she's been scheming about for weeks. Wish everyone could come!

Until next time.

At the Alma Mater

This week has been busier than most -- or maybe it just seems that way. Yesterday afternoon Christy and I took Zeke down to Provo with us (Dan & Deanne watched Sammy & Riley for us) for a visit to BYU. First we stopped to visit Emily Dunford, a friend of Christy's who lives Pleasant Grove. Emily had a brain tumor removed a few years ago that unfortunately left her with motor skills problems--just walking and talking are big challenges for her, although she's endured her trials well. Although she might claim otherwise, Christy has been a good friend to her, especially considering the distance -- she's made time to visit her and call her many times.

When we got to campus, we parked close to the Wilkinson Center (thank you, Saturday) and grabbed a bite at the Cougareat. Then we walked over to the BYU Museum of Art and looked at the Minerva Teichert exhibit for about an hour. It was great, but I think what really impressed me was the enormous Carl Bloch painting BYU has on display: Christ at the Pool of Bethesda. We strolled around the campus for a while after that, reminiscing and admiring all the new additions. I hadn't actually been on the main campus for years and I couldn't believe how much it's changed -- there seemed to be a new building or structure everywhere we looked. Probably the most impressive new building is the Joseph F. Smith building, which replaced the old Smith Family Living Center. It's huge, but beautifully done.

At 6 o'clock we met another couple at Ottavio's, a popular Italian restaurant on Center Street. Barett Christensen and his wife Heidi were nice hosts--he works for LDS Charities, and has been trying to get them into the Combined Federal Campaign for a couple of years, but meeting with some internal resistance. It seems most of those barriers have come down now and he expects they'll be able to apply in 2009, having barely missed the cutoff this year. Anyway, dinner was very good, and afterwards we went to the Marriot Center to watch the BYU dismantle the Air Force Academy in basketball. We had pretty good seats, in a section where BYU often hosts big donors to the school.

By the time we got to Dan & Deanne's house to pick up the boys, it was almost 11 p.m., and closer to midnight when we finally dropped into bed back at our house. But it was a fun day.

It snowed last night, after a week or so of relatively warm weather, in which much of the snow on the ground had melted. There must have been a hoarfrost covering the new snow, because it stayed on the branches despite the weather warming up again, and the effect was really pretty. I snapped a couple of pictures on my cell camera--hopefully they turned out OK.

Our lives have been disturbed this week by a bit of sickness. On Monday, Deanne and kids couldn't go swimming with us due to some very unpleasant illnesses. On Thursday, they couldn't play with us due to more of the same. On Friday, our kids began coughing (didn't get it from Tracen and Tyler, though), and it got worse Saturday. I got to stay home from church with them today, and I'm glad to report Sammy and Riley are getting a bit better. Zeke, however, is not doing well and seems more miserable tonight than he has been the past two days. Poor guy is probably wondering why he was excited to get into one of these bodies, just to hack and cough and feel crummy.

I've been thinking about "disturbances" this weekend. On Friday I was listening to a U of U professor/poet on a radio talk show, and she mentioned how grateful she was for the "disturbance" of motherhood, because it forced her to see that the world didn't revolve around her. She went on to talk about how she constantly needs disturbances in life to remind her of this.

I am the first to admit that my three little boys are three big disturbances (in this good way, not the annoying way). My life as a mother seems to be happy or unhappy based not on the events of any day, my children's behavior, or any other external factors. Happiness comes when I welcome the disturbance and recenter my universe around someone other than me. This happens frequently when I take time to teach or play with the boys. But it happens most noticeably when any of them are sick. Especially because they are so young, sickness and pain are so hard to see in my boys. I've surprised myself with how easily I change from cranky mom to devoted nurse when one of them is sick. Nothing consumes me so much as taking care of a sick child, and I have never regretted setting aside my list of personal projects or diversions to hold, comfort, or care for a sick child. If only I could keep that perspective at all times. I think that's what we sign up for when we become parents, we just don't realize how hard it is.

(It was hard just now to interrupt my train of thought to comfort my littlest disturbance, who is sleeping fitfully today due to the cough.)

On a different level, other disturbances are good for us, even though they aren't as fulfilling or pleasant as children. I think of petty arguments in my own life--the kind that serve no purpose but to bother someone else. All the times I snap at someone, or speak rudely, or put myself above someone else. All the times I witness others doing the same and hear the harshness of it, then realize I can't condemn them because I do it sometimes too. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the center of everyone else's universe.

I think of friends who have disagreed and refuse to reconcile. I know it's easier for them to avoid each other. But what a waste of happiness!

I think of another friend who could have died this week--two blood clots in the lungs and a large one in her leg. She's still got some time left in the hospital, and a lot more time resting at home, but she's alive. I'm sure her perspective has changed.

I think of our nation's collective grieving after 9/11, when we came together for strength. How sad that we've reverted to argument and finger-pointing. Not that we have to agree on everything, but that we can't disagree with more respect for each other--united toward the same ends if not in the same means.

We can let all of life's "disturbances" really bother us, use them as excuses for anger, bitterness, rudeness, unhappiness. Or we can let them remind us that our pride, our pursuits, our happiness are not the central concern of all creation. We can let these disturbances shift our focus from ourselves to something else. Something good, hopefully. My three little disturbances in and of themselves are almost the best possible thing to focus on. Even better is when I see through them to my Creator. Through my love for my children I feel God's love for me, His agony at sending His Son to suffer for His other children. I see a way for me to accept His love, and to show gratitude by loving others.

The past few days, I've tried (not always successfully) to be grateful for each disturbance. It's hard to take the setbacks and frustrations of life and always be cheerful. But each time I look past myself and care for someone else, it shifts my focus a little bit more toward God. Being imperfect means I need constant reminders--that must be why I've ended up with three little boys.

Here's hoping we all have a week full of little disturbances that help us forget ourselves, and bless the lives of others. And by the way, the creme brulee and pistachio cake were both amazing--still have some cake left and we'd welcome the disturbance of visitors enough to share with you!

Mmm...cake

I'm not feeling very creative this week, so here's a quick rundown:

Sammy has hives--cause unknown. Also, tonight while eating a bowl of ice cream and brownies, he asked for some carrots. I told him to finish his ice cream first. We expect him to turn orange any day now, based on the amount of carrots he's been eating.

Riley is starting to calm down--a little. He's a little less belligerent and rude, but still refuses to have anything to do with Bruce (usually). He loves his nursery teachers, though, and insists on setting up the chairs for them every Sunday.

Zeke is cute. He's trying to figure out why we've stuck a bottle in his mouth a few times this week. He also thinks it's fun to cry for his binky in the middle of the night. And he has discovered his hands--yum.

Bruce is a spacecase. He didn't notice Christy decorating special Valentine cookies just for him, while he was in the room. He did tune in long enough to eat them. After BYU football, the rest of his mental energy goes to his job. (He just found out they topped $2.5 million for this year's campaign!!!)

Christy is a mental case. Baking is her most therapeutic activity these days, which is not good while Bruce is on a health kick. Tomorrow--chocolate mint creme brulee. Later this week--pistachio cardamom cake. Next week--New York cheesecake with mango topping. After that--chocolate wasabi cake. Anyone who would like to help eat any of these desserts is welcome to visit anytime. Bruce will give you his portion.

We're excited for the Hollywood writer's strike to be over because we've had too much time to do useful things the past few months. Like write silly blog posts.

A House of Heavenly Peace.... I Rent It !

That's a line from a play I was in in high school: Noises Off. Only now can I truly appreciate that line and the title of that play. I wish, as every parent before me, that I had a "Noises Off" button on the remote.

It's Sunday evening after sundown. I used to find this time depressing, mostly because Monday morning and an entire week of work loomed ahead. (What a difference the right job can make.) Now I'm quite content to sit here in the kitchen and listen to the sounds of Christy doing the Sunday dishes (don't get indignant -- I made the dinner), and the occasional squeak of the boys' bedroom door opening, followed promptly by, "Riley, for the last time, shut the door and go back to bed!" Two more things make this an enjoyable evening. First, about an hour ago Christy popped some frozen homemade cookie dough into the oven along with some muffins she's baking for Sammy's preschool class tomorrow. There's a faint aroma of fresh baked goodness left in the air, along with an echo of semi-sweet chocolate in my mouth. This, combined with the soothing sounds of "noises off" (the absence of children's voices IS a sound, I maintain) is a recipe for the kind of relaxation that can only come after our weekly Sabbath day of stress.

Zeke's news of the week is that he's in the Jacobs' baby stage of mild constipation. His older brothers both experienced this rite of non-passage at about his age as well, although Riley's was certainly the more infamous of the two. Who can forget the saga of the soap suppository of aught-five at Wolf Creek Lodge? (Well, luckily for him, Riley can.) Mercifully, Zeke had two episodes today that left him a little better cleaned out. Oh yeah, and he had his first bottle yesterday--administered by me. Now Christy is plotting a Friday night sleep in the basement bedroom, leaving me alone with Zeke.

Sammy is more into books than ever lately, and making us proud by constantly trying to sound out words and, more often than not, getting them right. We're really not pushing him, either -- he just loves words and books. His cousin Tracen is equally impressive with numbers.

Riley, bless him, is struggling these days. He is no longer the baby and finds himself getting less attention and Mama time than he used to. He doesn't seem to have pinpointed Zeke as the cause, thankfully, because he's really pretty good to his brother, if a little over-zealous in the brotherly affection. But he's falling to pieces much more frequently and dramatically than he ever used to, and is exceptionally clingy when it comes to his Mom. As for me, I think he'd rather that I didn't exist. In his defense, I let myself get too authoritarian with him and don't show him quite enough understanding and patience. I'm going to blame Zeke on that one too, though, because it's hard to be gentle and patient when you're always sleep deprived. And I don't even have it as bad as Christy. Speaking of my wife, my hat is off to her for just surviving this long because she gets even less sleep than I do and, unlike me, she is constantly in demand from three little boys (four if you count me). Usually she even manages to maintain control all day, whereas I'm liable to blow my top an hour after getting home from work. So I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank my brother Dan, for showing me that I'm not the only one who buckles under the strain of insanity that only three boys age four and under can instill. Bless you, Dan!

Don't misunderstand though -- neither Dan nor I are overly physical with the kids -- just a little overly vocal at times. Fight fire with fire, that's what we dads are about.

Leah sang an arrangement of "I Stand All Amazed" in her sacrament meeting today, and Christy accompanied. I didn't get to hear it first-hand, in order to watch the kids at home, but I did hear them practice yesterday and it was really beautiful. You all know what a great voice Leah has (and of course my wife is a maestro on the piano).

Well, until next time... RILEY, GET BACK IN BED NOW!! I'M WARNING YOU... ONE... TWO.... THREE! OKAY, HERE I COME!! ... have a great week.

Love,
The House of Peace